Brian Ellis Rules!
Let me set the scene for you... It's Sunday, the 21st day of November in the 2004th year of our Lord. At approximately 12:45PM I was heading up to the gyme for a quick workout. As I'm heading there, I pass by a cop running a speed trap or some shiz near a stop sign. Being the excellent driver that I am, I come to a full stop at the intersection before proceeding. I'm heading up to the gyme and right as I get to the parking lot, I notice a cop car comes FLYING up behind me (metaphorically speaking, of course). I'm confident I haven't done anything wrong, so I'm not too worried.
Low and behold, the lights come on and I'm getting pulled over. So I pull to the side of the road and I wait. And I wait. And I wait. After about 10 minutes the two officers come up to my window and go through the usual "license and registration, please" nonsense. I oblige and ask if everthing's OK. The officers says he'll be right back. So I wait. And wait. And wait.
After another 15+ minutes of waiting, the officers come back to my window and asks me to turn off the vehicle and step out of the car. Odd. I step out and again ask if everything's OK. He informs me there's a warrant out for my arrest in Mercer county. Mercer county? I don't even know where it is, let alone why I'd have a warrant out for my arrest.
The officer asks me to turn around and requests that I put my hands behind my back. I'M BEING CUFFED! He asks me if I have anything on my person or anything in the vehicle they should know about. I told him that I didn't have anything on me, but that I had my ipod in the car... I also later told them I had my golf clubs in the trunk. They take me around behind the car and pat me down to make sure I'm not carrying anything. As they're taking me to the squad car he asks me again if I could remember anything I might have done that would explain the warrant. He asked me several times.
It was just like on "Cops". They led me to the back seat of the cop car and reminded me to watch my head. As I sat in the car I could see them searching my car. Of course they don't find anything so they lock it up and come back to take me down to the station. They assured me I wasn't being arrested and that this was just procedure since there was a warrant out with my name on it. I was informed that the warrant was for a "failure to appear". Kind of a bummer, it would've been funny if it was for murder or some shiz. Anyhoo, he went on to say that if it's just a mix up I should be on my way in no time, but if not, then they'd have to hold me until Mercer county decides what they want to do with me.
We get to the station and they take me to a room in the back. They take the cuffs off and I sit down. I'm not there for more than 2 minutes when an older looking officer comes in and explains that it's all just a mistake. It turns out there's a LaWayne Ellis who used my name as an alias apparently. He asked me my social security number and sure enough it didn't match up with the guy they were looking for. Everyone was very apologetic and I assured them it was no big deal. I'm just happy that it got cleared up fairly quickly and easily. The only problem now is that the next time they run my plates, the same thing is going to happen.
And it just so happens I'm driving out to Ohio on Tuesday to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. It'll be a total of nearly 20 hours in the car across Pennsylvania and Ohio and back. Vegas has the odds on me getting pulled over at 2:1. I'm not sure what that means exactly, but I imagine it means I'll have a fun trip!
Also, LaWayne, quit using my name and get your ass to court. Now I need to check my credit report and make sure my identity hasn't been stolen. Awesome!
So now I have my story about being hand-cuffed and riding in the back of a police car. Cripes, it's tough being a pseudo-internet-celebrity.
I got off the phone with the Mercer's County Sheriff's Department. I talked to the guy there and he straightened out the whole deal. When you look up the name "Ellis" with my date of birth, it brings up me and this guy LaWayne. The guy on the phone was pretty funny, he said, "Yeah, you two have the same last name and the same birthdate, but his name is LaWayne and you're Brian and aside from that, you're white and he's a black fella."
Chalk up another victory for the Picatinny Police Department!
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