Brian Ellis Rules!
It's Thursday. Jeff and I are jonesing for some AYCE*. The original plan was to hit up Applebee's for some AYCE rib tips. Bite-sized pieces of ribs, how could you go wrong? Well, after several bad reports we decided to bail at the last minute and hit up the Town Tavern up in West Milford for some AYCE prime rib.
So we roll in there around 7:30 and get seated. As luck would have it, our waitress is the h0tt one. Effin' great, right!?
She takes our drink and food orders and heads back towards the kitchen. Jeff and I hit up the soup and salad bar (Jeff got the salad, I'm not into that sissy stuff!). Anyhoo, while this is going on I'm trying to think of ways to joke around with her. I got nothing.
The food takes a little longer than usual to get there, so I do a little pre-gaming on the dessert bar. Just as I finish my piece of Turtle Cheesecake, she brings out the steaks. She takes a look at the plate in front of me and says, "Dessert already!?" I started joking around... "Dessert?! What dessert? *nervous laugh* That's crazy talk!" She was eating it up. Effin' great, right?
We order a few another round of steaks and things are going well. After she takes away the second steak, we tell her we're going to hit up the dessert bar. We make our way over there and on the way she asks us if we want any coffee or anything. Jeff takes a coffee and I let her know I'm just gonna work on the dessert bar for a good half hour or so. Again, she was laughing it up. Effin' great, right?
After we finish a couple plates of dessert, she drops one last time to see how we're doing. At this point I let her know that I'm going to order another steak and she gives me this weird look like "are you serious!?". I laugh and tell her I'm just joking, to which she replies, "Oh man, I was going to say, I wish I could eat as much as you and still look that good." (Effin' great, right!?) I act all sheepish and look away and say, "Oh, stop...." She lost it... Effin' great, right!?
So now I'm feeling like the man. I mean, I'm joking it up and this girl is all 'bout it, 'bout it. Now I'm starting to wonder if I should make a complete ass out of myself and ask for her number or something. I mean, the concept is totally foreign to me, so of course it's going to end poorly. As luck would have it, I wouldn't have to worry about that.
Jeff and I are joking it up and having a great time. We're laughing our asses off and joking around about a testimonial someone had left me on Friendster. (Background: the testimonial left for me made me sound like a complete tool, but it's all good.) Jeff and I are joking around about it saying stuff like, "Why don't you just tell everyone I'm a massive tool!?" and we're laughing it up. I said, "Yeah, you may as well just tell everyone I'm gay!"
Guess who happened to be standing right next to me as I said it. Yup, you guess it, the h0tt waitress. She had brought us our bill. Of course, she gave me this weird look and I was just thinking, "ah, crap..." And that was it. No more joking around. No more laughing it up.
*cracks knuckles* Yup, I still got it.
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